Behold the Crazy – USJF Edition

During the 2008 Presidential Election I signed up for email updates from various issue groups on the far right and far left.   Sadly, the far left has failed to entertain me.  They are far, far less frequent in their emails since the election and they have the disconcerting habit of including facts, easily understood points, proper grammar, and real restraint in their use of typographical text modifications.

I wish I could say the same for the far right conservative groups, but I cannot.  Since the election, many of these “Real Americans”  seem more determined than ever to overwhelm the minds and pocketbooks of their readers.

The Craziest of the Crazy

One company that provides e-mail lists for Conservatives with money to spend on email marketing is Conservative Action Alerts, the brainchild of Lititz, PA based Diener Consultants, Inc. It seems that at least half of all conservative mailings I get come through them and ALL of the most insane are passing through their servers.

Here is the opening of the letter.  To read the while thing go to the image on Flickr.

Dear Fellow American,

We are suing Barack Hussein Obama to force him to release his ACTUALbirth certificate, to force him to PROVEif he is eligible to serve as President of the United States…

Before I give you the latest news on our lawsuits, would you, FIRST, please, sign the enclosed CITIZEN’S DEMAND TO BARACK OBAMA, and return it to me today. Your Petition demands that Mr. Obama:

1) Order his lawyers to cease their legal attacks on
the United States Justice Foundation (USJF); and,

2) Immediately release his real birth certificate
to prove whether he is a “natural born citizen”
of the United States.

You can often spot these things instantly by the way they never, ever, ever call him by his title. It is always Mr. Obama, or the full “Barack Hussein Obama”. Also, not the immediate mental disconnect formed when the organization demands the right to use our publicly funded judicial system to pursue their goals while at the same time they are asking their “opponent” to forsake his own Constitutional rights to defend himself using that same judicial system. Farther along in the message they seem to take pride in sucking harder on the public teat by challenging a legal decision through the more expensive (to the public) appeal system.

Whatever you do, never ever try to point out this logical disconnect.   I am not sure what would happen but I suspect it would be akin to waking a sleepwalker and if 1970s-1990s TV and movies have taught us nothing, waking a sleepwalker is bad news and if you let them go about their business much hilarity will ensue.

Fringe from the Start

This organization – United States Justice Foundation – has quite a past.  Before jumping on the back of the Birther movement and going along for the lucrative ride on the dime of frightened Americans, they were involved in other bizarre and weirdly quaint movements and agendas.  This is from their own website at http://usjf.net/?page_id=1198 (yeah – they are using WordPress and nobody told them about the value of SEO friendly permalinks.)

Cases We’ve Represented

• 1979 — White v. Northern Louisiana Legal Assistance Corporation — Provided attorney and all related costs for reverse discrimination lawsuit.
• 1979-1981 — John Doe v. William French Smith — Provided attorney and all court costs and expenses in the U.S. District Court to deport Iranians illegally residing in the U.S.
• 1979 — Brian R. Weber v. Kaiser Alumimum & Chemical Corporation and the United States Steelworkers of America, AFL-CIO — Filed friend of the court brief with the U.S. Supreme Court in support of Mr. Weber’s attack on reverse discrimination.
• 1982 — Rovert J. Bell v. Nashua — Provided partial funding for taxpayer lawsuit challenging City of Nashua, New Hampshire’s refusal to adopt or allow public vote on an intiative petition to limit the city’s imposition of taxes.
• 1992 — Nordlinger v. Hahn — Filed friend of the court brief with the U.S. Supreme Court in the successful defense of California’s Proposition 13, the property tax limitation measure, against an attempt to have it invalidated.
• 1993 — Anderson v. Green — Filed friend of court briefs with the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals and the U.S. Supreme Court to defend California law restricting welfare grants for new arrivals.
• 1994 — Boehner v. Anderson — Filed friend of court brief in the lawsuit to bar the congressional pay raise enacted in violation of the U.S. Constitution.
• 1994 — U.S. Term Limits, et.al. v. Thornton, et.al. — Filed friend of the court brief with the U.S. Supreme Court in support of term limits legislation in four cases combined for hearing.
• 1994 — Clinton Health Care Task Force — Served FOIA requests on nine federal departments and agencies seeking all information in their possession, and their employees, concerning the proposed health care plan, have advisedthe American Association of Physicians and Surgeons in their litigation on this subject.
• 1994-1996 — Alvarado, et. al. v. City of San Jose, et. al. — Represented plaintiffs in suit challeging the use by the city of San Jose, California of $1 million in taxpayer funds to purchase and install on public land a statue of the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl.
• 1994-1997 — Ray Helen Jones v. Southern University — Funding lawsuit against all-black university for discrimination against women in employment policies.
• 1995-1996 — Carlin, et.al v. San Diego Unified School District — Represented intervenor parents in desegregation case challenging school district’s use of $48 million per year in special funding.
• 1996 — Western/California Ltd., et.al. v. Dry Creek Elementary School District — Filed friend of the court brief in support of legal challenge to the action of the a school district levying excessive fees against a developer to finance school construction.

The Letter

There is nothing else I can say about this email from Gary Kreep, Executive Director of United States Justice Foundation entitled “CITIZEN’S DEMAND TO BARACK OBAMA!!” (caps and bangs in the original) that will prepare you so please click on the photo below and read it in all its bizarre and wonderful exuberance.

While reading, try to remember that ordinary American citizens sat down at their computers or desks and coughed up $10 or $25 or however much they could afford and sent it in to the person behind the prose and his foundation.  This person in turn cashed those checks or accepted those credit card donations (if the idea that Great Aunt Edna might be paying upwards of 30% interest on her donation since she put it on her Visa does not make you sick to your stomach then you have no soul) and used the money to pay Conservative Action Alerts to send out this plea for cash disguised as “news”.

Behold the Crazy (click to go read the big version)

Video: Isn’t the birther movement really about racism?